Monthly Archives: October 2008

Fuzz

For those of you who don’t see Clay all the time, we are very happy to announce that his hair is coming back! It’s more of a peach fuzz right now, but it is definitely proliferating. It feels like a little victory. Praise be to God. 🙂

     C and L

Holding pattern

I’m sorry that we have been so out of touch lately. There really isn’t much news to report, so I guess that I have felt weary and tired of waiting– too tired of saying that there is nothing new to say. But actually, there are a few things to update you on. Dr. Einhorn has asked Clay to have another PET scan in the next couple of weeks, to see if the mass in his abdomen has shrunk at all, following the chemo. We understand that the chemo is still working on the tumor, even though he is not getting treatments all the time. So Clay called Dr. Bulger’s office to schedule his PET scan, and Blue Cross denied his claim for another scan. Evidently, this happens pretty often, and a physician has to review the claim and approve it. So we are waiting for the claim to be approved, waiting for the scan, waiting to see if the tumor has shrunk, waiting to know if he needs surgery… I am sick of waiting. The more we have to wait, the more time there is for doubt and fear to set in. Clay is afraid that the mass will have grown, even though we know that is unlikely. I am afraid of him having to go through surgery. We both are afraid of more chemo. Cancer is scary, and as have said so many times during this process, cancer sucks. 

We were at the beach this weekend for our anniversary (great trip, it was so nice to get away!), and we were talking about how this process has changed us and what God is doing. Right now, we are both struggling with believing and feeling that God cares for us as much as He says He does, that He is not oblivious to our earthly struggles. We both KNOW that God cares, we know that He has promised that He cares, but does it ever just feel difficult to believe that? One of our wise friends in LIFE group said that maybe there are times when you need to let the people that you care about believe for you, and pray for you. I’m sure that our perceived distance from God has more to do with our lack of communication with Him, but sometimes maybe we just need to believe and pray for one another as part of community. Would you pray that Clay’s PET scan is approved this week, and would you pray that we would feel and believe that God loves us, that He is concerned about us? 

We are grateful for you all, as always.

    Much love,

     Lauren (and Clay)